Learn the hard way


Sometimes you a have an idea to do something. Sometimes you don't think why or you are doing this or what the consequences will be. Until it's too late. Obsessive thinking is triggered, which makes you unable neither to focus on anything but your problem nor to enjoy life (even if that 'problem' is objectivt a big deal objectively). In such moments, we tend to feel vulnerable and helpless, often assuming that this is the end of the world. Today I want to write about my experience of dying my hair blue and share the knowledge I have gained throughout the process.

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” - Henry Ford

1. This is NOT the end of the world. Even if it seems so at the moment. Remember - this is completely normal and, above all, human to feel sad, angry and frustrated. But this is also natural for these feelings to pass. It makes it easier to let them go when you realise that you are the only person who judges yourself so harsh - maybe nobody else even thinks that you have anything wrong. And, most of the times, they are right.

2. It is important to stay in touch with your emotions. You may not even be aware of that, but we often separate form our them in order not to experience shame, anger and other uncomfortable feelings. Even though this may bring a temporary relief, these emotion remain in us, making us feel worse after all. It is better to acknowledge feelings, accept them and let them go, instead of suppressing inside ourselves.

3. There are several stages of making a mistake. At first we are angry, frustrated or ashamed. We try to deny the fact that we made something 'wrong', while it is often wrong only in our minds. Then we eventually start to accept the situation and act in favour of changing it. However, it is usually done automatically. 

4. Now I know how it is to be stared at. And I mean STARED. One woman did that completely shamelessly for 20-30 seconds once. It is nice to attract other people's attention for some time, but seriously... half a minute? That made me feel really uncomfortable, wishing to look 'normal' again. 

5. And how nice it is NOT to be stared at later on. I started to appreciate when people look at me because I look pretty, not because I look weird. It is nothing hard to draw other people's attention when you have mermaid hair and you can be easily spotted from 200 metres in a crowd. The real trick is to attract others by being natural. When you achieve that, you want to be more classy and elegant than ever.

“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” - Ellen DeGeneres

6. 'Blessing' a situation can have amazing effects. If you do not know what to do and your anxiety only increases, stop the vicious circle of frustration for a moment. Try to imagine yourself after your problem is solved - how you look, feel, act etc. Then bless the situation with the intention that it will transform into the state you have just imagined. With all your heart, believe that this will happen, and I can assure you the solution will be found really soon.
For instance, I had no idea what to do with my hair in order to bring them back to being blonde and NORMAL. At some point I got so stressed about it, I did not know if I would even survive this tension. Then I let it go. I imagined myself in a beautiful, cool shade of blonde and I believed I can achieve it. Moreover, I KNEW it. You know what? After a few days, my hair looked exactly how I wanted them to. Badum-tss!

7. I have developed a new sense of self-confidence. Despite it may sound like a no-brainer, I discovered that being confidence has nothing to do with arrogance or superiority. Actually, these are often attributes of people who feel insecure and self-conscious, so they use them as a shield against others. True confidence is about feeling good with yourself despite the adversities, as well as having the courage to be yourself in front of other people. Even if your hair looks like dirty algae. 

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