Boże Narodzenie

Boże Narodzenie - czas radości, spokoju i miłości?

10:23

Dzisiaj Wigilia Bożego Narodzenia - pod choinką leżą paczki z prezentami, w lodówce chłodzi się karp w galarecie, rodziny z podekscytowaniem wyczekują na przybycie gości...

Wróć.

To wcale nie tak wygląda.

Od szóstej rano trwa lepienie pierogów z naprzemiennym sprawdzaniem, czy szarlotka się już dopiekła. W przerwach należy również dokończyć ozdabianie pierników - przecież nie powiesimy na choince zwykłych bombek ze sklepu, co by goście pomyśleli. Jak się sklepy otworzą trzeba też będzie pojechać po resztę prezentów, nie ma w końcu nic dla trzyletniego syna kuzynki z Torunia. W trakcie zdąży się przebrać i uczesać, może nawet starczy czasu na pomalowanie paznokci. Dobrze, że przynajmniej obrusy poschły i już, pięknie rozłożone na stole, już aż proszą się o pochlapanie barszczem.  A, Janek, i kup Persen w aptece przy okazji! Zresztą, Ranigast i Espumisan też możesz wziąć.

Kiedy Święta stały się synonimem stresu, irytacji i dzikiej bieganiny? Może bardziej pasować będzie tu pytanie - czy w ogóle kiedyś były? Jak tak naprawdę wyglądały święta naszych rodziców, dziadków?


Z tego co wiem, ze spokojem i odpoczynkiem nie zawsze miały wiele wspólnego. Był to, oczywiście, czas odmienny od pozostałej części roku, jednak jego "świętość" często przejawiała się w tym, czego najdotkliwiej brakowało - w dobrobycie. Ja nie zaliczam się do tego grona, ale wielu Polaków pamięta czasy, kiedy sklepowe półki zastawione były samym octem, a szynkę widziało się raz w miesiącu. Boże Narodzenie było tym czasem, w którym nadrabiało się za całe miesiące niedosytu wszelkich dóbr materialnych i spożywczych. Po prostu MIAŁO BYĆ. Dlatego nasi rodzice i dziadkowie stali w kilkudziesięciometrowych kolejkach aby zdobyć jedzenie na stół wigilijny, a przygotowania zaczynały się często na tydzień przed świętami i pochłaniały mnóstwo energii. Przeważnie cała zaangażowana była cała rodzina - mój tata do dzisiaj pamięta, jak trzykrotnie kręcił mak będąc małym chłopcem. Należy dodać, że te czasy były i tak idyllą w porównaniu z dzieciństwem mojego dziadka. Wtedy na święta wkładało się jak najwięcej do jednego garnka, aby mieć poczucie różnorodności w potrawie - na co dzień taki luksus był wręcz nieosiągalny.

Pomimo ogromnych zmian polityczno-gospodarczych w otaczającym świecie, a co za tym idzie, znacznego poprawy standardu życia, przyzwyczajenia wielu ludzi pozostały takie same. Do dzisiaj Boże Narodzenie rzadko kiedy spędzane jest w atmosferze radości i spokoju - zamiast tego jesteśmy zabiegani, poirytowani i zestresowani. Niejednokrotnie również się kłócimy, zwłaszcza, jeśli coś pójdzie nie do końca zgodnie z planem. To wszystko skutki presji, że "musi być zrobione, musi być dobrze, musi być dużo". Czy jest to tak naprawdę niezbędne? Oczywiście, że nie - w końcu dziesięć rodzajów ciast nas nie zbawi, a i tak znaczna ilość jedzenia będzie na koniec wyrzucana. Nie musimy myć okien ani prać firan na tę okazję, nie wspominając o kupowaniu największej możliwej choinki i ozdabianiu jej metrami lampek i łańcuchów.

My, jako pokolenie wychowane w czasach dobrobytu, możemy (spróbować) pokazać rodzinom, że przesyt nie jest wcale bożonarodzeniową koniecznością. Możemy pokazać, że taki przerost formy nad treścią prowadzi często do konfliktów, o marnowaniu energii nie mówiąc - nikt nie ma potem siły na wspólne spędzanie czasu! Z drugiej strony, od naszych przodków możemy nauczyć się kultywowania tradycji, a także możemy docenić to, jak dobrze tak naprawdę teraz mamy (tylko nie wpadać mi tam w poczucie winy :) ). Zapytajcie rodziców, dziadków, jak to kiedyś było. Czekam na Wasze historie w komentarzach.

Bake

Oatmeal cookies for a better day

07:13


It is said that it is better not to connect food with emotions. Nonetheless, I cannot find the answer for one of the most startling questions: how are we supposed not to connect food with feelings, when it actually has the power of making us feel just so good and, analogically, so bad, too? In my opinion, almost everybody needs comfort food from time to time and almost everybody has their own 'type'. However, disturbingly often our comfort foods take form of fat-dripping and salt'n'sugar caloric bombs, which, in the long run, do not make us feel better at all. This is the reason for which I have developed an interest in creating healthy (and still delicious) alternatives for our everyday cravings. 

Today I want to present to you one of my favourite cookie recipes (and not only mine). These cookies are surprisingly multipurpose, as you can actually eat them for breakfast, snack or dessert, you can take it to school or work, use it as a gift for your best friend and give it to your kids without feeling like a bad parent. Moreover, they are extremely easy and fast to make, so even if your baking skills are not a Master Chef level yet or you have a busy schedule (and I bet you do), you are still perfectly able to make them.


What are your favourite comfort foods? Which one of them would you like me to 'reformulate' next? Or maybe you have your own healthy recipes you would like to share? I cannot wait to read your experience with the subject!


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Blog

Don't obsess if you mess

05:10

Everybody makes mistakes. EVERYBODY. (Yeah, my brain is not fully convinced whether this theory is true or not - where is freaking scientific evidence?! - but deep within my subconsciousness, I know it to be true after all). I am sorry to say so, but we are really not perfect, regardless of how much we try to be. Of course we can argue on various definitions of perfection right now, but let's just assume it is - I like this one - "the action or process of improving something until it is faultless." 

“Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.” 
― Salvador Dalí

As a clever guy Salvador Dali once said: “Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it”, and these are the true words of wisdom. We tend to create a completely unattainable image in our minds which we can strive to achieve for the rest of our lives. Why such a long time? Because, just as Dali pointed out, we will never reach it. Moreover - I'll quote another knowledgable man - "If you look for perfection, you'll never be content" (Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina). Which basically means you will be unsatisfied with yourself and other until you die. Not such a pretty scenario, I guess.

“If you look for perfection, you'll never be content.” 
― Leo TolstoyAnna Karenina


Why am I reflecting on this topic, anyway? Well, that is because I am undeniable expert in it. I perfectly know how it is to feel that I didn't do enough and that I could have done so much more and so much better. And I also know just how much it doesn't matter at all only a few days later. That is why I think it is better not to strive for perfection. The amount of stress related to that is not worth the effect at all. Causing self-destruction to oneself, mentally as  well as physically, will not make life of this person better. Now when I'm writing this I see how true it is. Of course, it is not that easy to change firm thinking patterns that we learned throughout the years. However, it is by all means possible. All that is needed is some time and motivation. I think I am going to need a lot of both, though.







Baking

The Best Brownie In the World

00:30

This is not a recent post, as I made this cake months ago. Originally, it was featured on a different blog, which I ran with my high school friend. I did not intend to post it in here, however, today I decided to share it with you. These days are not easy: they are short, dark and cold. Great famous people are dying, leaving us heartbroken. And Valentine's Day is just around the corner. So, as you see, I felt obliged to help you survive through these times of sorrow. That is why I present to you, in my humble opinion, The Best Brownie In The World:




Ingredients:

cake batter:
  • 200 g dark chocolate
  • 225 g butter
  • 3 eggs
  • 0.5 vanilla extract
  • 275 g fine sugar 
  • 135 g gluten-free flour*
  • 0.25 tbs salt
frosting:
  • 200 g dark chocolate
  • 1 tbsp butter
  • alternatively colourful sprinkles

Preparation:

Preheat the oven to 160 degrees.

Break 200 g of chocolate and melt in a saucepan with butter. Don't heat up too much, take it off the cooker after melting.

In a separate bowl, whip eggs with sugar and vanilla. Add the melted chocolate and combine with eggs and sugar mixture. Add flour, salt and stir once again.

Pour the dough into a baking tray 20x30 cm size coated with butter or covered with baking paper.

Place the tray in the oven and bake for 30-40 minutes, take it out and leave to cool down.

Melt 200 g of chocolate with 1 tbsp of butter in a saucepan, cover the cake with it, alternatively add the sprinkles.









Achievement

New Year, New Me, blah blah

12:18

This post will be a little more lofty than usually, as - even though I toss "New Year, New Me" crap to trash - I am still in a pretty reflective mood right now.

This year I decided not to make any resolutions I would forget after a day of hangover (although there was no hangover this time). What I mean is that I wish to focus on my inner state rather than on the external aspects of life, such as weight loss, money etc. (I'm not saying they're not welcome...). I have to admit I wasn't in the best health condition lately and it brought my attention to the issues I neglected for years, with suppressed emotions in the lead. I believe that everything that happens to us is the elongation of our inner - often subconscious - state. Here are the things I am aspiring to this year:

  • be in contact with my emotions
  • be aware
  • be gentle for myself
  • let the things that block me go
  • let control go
  • embrace the uncertainty
  • be grateful
  • love
I am not claiming that I will achieve all of the above at once, as it involves changing my habits, which is a rather long-term process. I intend to be proud of myself for even small steps taken towards the direction I chose. Basically, I want to open for what life brings and stop trying to control everything. I want to be true to myself, as well as trust my intuition. I believe that this is the best thing I can do for myself (and others in my surroundings) at the moment.

What are your New Year's reflections and resolutions? Can't wait to read them!






Anger

Not such a merry Christmas

23:52


It was this time of the year: gleam of unreasonably tiny light bulbs, ugly plastic Santas in every shop window and, worst of all, those awfully cheerful songs playing non-stop on the radio. I looked around, saw ridiculuously decorated trees and people rushing to buy another cartoon of beet soup and I thought "I should be happy at the moment". Yes, I knew everybody from my best friend to my mother to mailman Jack expected that from me. This was (and still is) a competition of "who-is-better-in-pretending-to-feel-awesome-while-they-actually-feel-shitty". And yes, I always wanted to win it.

When I was a child, Christmas was something I awaited for weeks or even months ahead. As I grew older, I drew less and less pleasure out of it. One year when I was extremely depressed, this time of the year was a nightmare for me. All I wished to do was to hide under my bed sheets and stay there till New Year's Eve while my mom wanted me to dress nicely, clean up the house and look after cabbage so it didn't burn. I don't blame her or anyone else for wanting me to participate in all of that. The actual 'bad' thing was that I felt guilty for not being able to fully be there for them - even if they didn't notice it - and guilty for not feeling happy. Yes. Not was I miserable, I also felt remorse because of my state. It was a true "storied po", as my mum likes to say (in free translation). Basically,  I was making the deep shit I found myself in even deeper. Which, from a logical point of view, doesn't make sense AT ALL. But I still did it, of course.

This year, however, I decided to take a different approach. As far as I could, I just let my self feel sad and depressed, I allowed myself to experience the physical pain in my body. And, to be honest, that was the best decision I could make. I literally felt the stress and suppressed emotions realising from my body. And I knew THIS was the right path to happiness - not running away from feelings.

I'm not saying I didn't have a few (or a little more) moments of weakness - when I wasn't able to eat, drink or cheer with my family - but I tried not to punish myself for that. This non-self-destructive behaviour was completely new to me (which was pretty disturbing, actually) but it showed me that there are different ways of treating myself than only demanding perfection and trying to control everything. Now I slowly begin to truly understand that sticking to old and limiting patterns of thinking won't lead to anything fresh and exciting. Sometimes it's really better to let things go and simply surrender, even if it seems scary and unpleasant. Even if it really feels like shit.


Tell me, how was your Christmas? Did you have to fake being happy? I will be glad to read all of your stories.

Anxiety

On guilt and shame

02:41


Lately I gave in the cozy and melancholic atmosphere of late autumn afternoons, put me in a rather reflective state of mind. Taking long strolls while freezing my butt off definitely encouraged contemplative mood. Moreover, Christmas is around the corner, and it would be nice to really be able to enter this time with 'pure heart'. By this I mean the heart not cluttered with negative emotions. If I were to name the worst (or maybe, the most unpleasant) feelings, it would definitely be guilt and shame. What is so special about them, you ask? Why are they any better than anger, sadness or even despair? It is because, my friend, shame and guilt involve a whole ton of self-hatred and self-accusations, which are, basically, a weapon aimed at yourself.

Ok, it is just the beginning of the second paragraph, however, we can already draw a relatively clear conclusion out of what I have written. I used the word 'weapon' not without a reason, as it indicates some kind of a battle going on inside of you. As you may be aware, the reality we find ourselves in is very often (or even always) the reflection of our inner state,  hence, at the time being, you might be battling with the rest of the world, too. And you know what? It is completely fine. 

So, if you in a state of resistance and pushback, by definition you are isolating yourself from the world, as well as from life. Guilt makes you numb on the inside - you feel empty, 'dead' even. Paradoxically, you're in the great pain at the same time - pain caused by helplessness. And here, my friend, we come to another conclusion: you live in an illusion. Why? Because you are NOT helpless - actually, you are the furthest from that. 

What can you do in the situation you found yourself in? The answer may seem counterintuitive, as the best thing you can is... surrender. Allow for the wave of 'negative' emotions to overflow you, actually FEEL what is there inside of you. Your consciousness may resist this, however, try to find this trust in you which will allow you to go through this process. Cry, scream, throw plates (maybe just not the Rosenthal ones...) - basically, it's all about letting your feelings manifest themselves. From my own experience, this is the fastest way of letting them go. Moreover after some practice, you will probably not need to turn to such 'extreme' means of emotional release, breathing it all out will be enough.


This technique is also applicable if you struggle with any other emotions, of course. It needs practice, so don't be discouraged at first. Myself, I am still working on understanding and realising feelings which prevent me from feeling well. At most times, I at least attempt to have one goal in mind - act in order to be at peace, not on a battle with yourself. Be like these ducks swimming in a pond nearby - simple and without expectations. And just so beautiful in their incomplexity.

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